On the eve of my birthday, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Mostly I've been thinking about getting older, what this means, that it’s beautiful, how many people don’t get to experience aging, and then considering life and how precious it actually is. Our family recently got some news regarding mortality and it was a big wake up call (I won't go into details, as I would like privacy respected) but it's really made me do some thinking. As much as we sort of dread age and getting on in years, how often to people stop and think what a beautiful privilege it is?
Tomorrow I'm only turning 26, but I've been finding more and more fine lines and grey hairs. At first this scared me, it made me feel old and miss my youth, but now I think, actually this is great! I love my life and the people in it. I am not a kid anymore. I don't have to feel like “the youngest child” anymore. I'm not inferior for being younger than my siblings because actually, I don't feel all that young anymore. I am sorting the adult parts of my life out and things I never thought I'd enjoy, I enjoy. Sure I wish I had more money or I saw my family more, but you know what? I have a roof over my head and four siblings and two parents who would move mountains for me, and I would do the same for them. I have a job I actually like and a partner who is my absolute perfect match. These things are worth smiling about. They’re worth creating deeper wrinkles for. This is life; and while we won't always be around, how lucky we are to be here now. Tomorrow is just another birthday for me, but I hope I am lucky enough in life to have 80 more birthdays, and that someday I'll be an old wrinkled lady with a head of grey hair and a heart full from a lifetime of love. And you know, if I don't make it to 106, then at least I've lived at all.
So, to getting older! To living the life you're given during the timeline you've got. To getting older and wiser and moving further away from the face and body you grew up with. Nothing is constant but change and our bodies and minds are in flux just like the rest of the world. We are not invincible and that is okay.